As I begin to write this passage it comes to me that it's been almost a year since we went our separate ways... It's been so long since we last spoke. Yet still I think about you everyday hoping that you are okay... And still I miss you & love you like there is no tomorrow.
The reason I write this is because of that unanswered question... that unanswered question we all have...
Why did you do what you did to me?...
If you have any empathy you will tell me why?
Why you did what you did?
Or do you really think that little of me?
Have I not given you what you wanted? Have I not done everything you have asked of me? Have I not left you in peace? The only thing I have not been able to do is stop loving you. I have fought so hard with my feelings... I have fought so hard to stop loving you... Do you really think I want to be in love with someone who doesn't love me back?
You are the love of my life. There is no doubt about that. I don't know when I realised this. All I know is you are. And yet I am not yours. We both know who truly is. But I guess there are just some things neither of us can change in life. No matter how hard we try. But remember not all of us are cheats. Some of us are good.
I don't hate you for the way you treated me. We had some special times together. I just wish we could have shared them forever. But they are my dreams & this is reality.
You hate me & I'm sorry for making you feel that way about me and making you do the things you did... And before you say it's not true. Or it's lies. I've seen with my own eyes the things you have written, said, & done about me.
I hope that one day you will be able to forgive me the way I have forgiven you. And if / when that day ever comes maybe then you will be able to tell me why you did what you did?
I truly hope that you are well & that you are happy. That's all I ever wanted for you.
And do you know what the really sad thing about all of this is...
I would rather go back to being your slave than live another moment without you in my life.
With all the love I have.
xx xx xx