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5/20
To My Young Padawan ,
Words like Sweetheart, My Queen, Princess, My Baby Doll or Love of My Life are said by men showing affection to the women they love. I said them often, and meant them with my truest heart. That was horrible though. They were an insult and I apologize for using such average words. You deserve better, &​ I was being lazy. I've never met anyone like you before in my life. You are the most amazing woman in the world. I lost sight of that, and didn't cherish you, every day, the way I should have. I called you my Young Padawan when we met. You liked it, and wanted to learn everything I could teach you. I refused to open my eyes and see that you had surpassed the master. Lost in the ways of the force, I should have looked towards you for guidance. You were my beautiful Padmé Amidala, and I was your Annakin Skywalker. We had a love felt throughout the universe. You are my soulmate. You were my best friend. I was immature, stubborn, and insecure, with the temper trying to prove my manhood, that I couldn't control. I am so sorry, my Senator, I close my eyes and I turned to the dark side. I became the man you despised, and hated. Your once young Jedi in training, turned into the most powerful, evil, and evil force in the universe. You are innocent and pure, beautiful and talented. You are youthful, and refined, capable and strong. You are a unique and beautiful women. There's no one else in the world like you. You are one of a kind. You are of the ages, for the ages, and a lifetime, of a lifelong dream, that I will never get to fulfill. You are beyond my queen, princess and sweetheart. Baby doll... You are my soulmate, my fantasy, the woman in my dreams, and once you were my wife.

I was afraid of losing you. A good friend asked, "These visions you have ..." I told him, they were visions of "someone close to me," "They are of pain, suffering ... death," someone close to me. I told him, "I won't let my visions come true, Master Yoda." I was naive, and I was stupid for thinking I knew more than him, and everyone else. I should have listened to Yoda's advice, "The fear of loss is a path to the Dark Side."

I'm sorry, I became everything, I promised would not.

You deserve the world I gave you the average. I became Darth Vader, and I stole your exciting, handsome, intelligent, daring and exciting young love. I took your love, young Anni. I took away your man Anakin. I took away your love Anakin Skywalker.

I am so sorry. I feel intense grief, for the pain I have caused you, and the disappointment you feel in me letting you down. I did not listen to advice from you, for you too on my other than expected in my life. And let you down. I did not become the man I promised you I would be. I did not give the life that you had dreamt of having together. I feel sorrow for the sadness you feel in this moment, and will remember and feel again all throughout different aspects of your life. I caused that sadness. I feel pain for all the ways I have hurt you and all the decisions I made that were disgusting and horrible. I feel regret, for all the emotions I feel in me, but knowing there felt a thousand times worse in you for what I have done. I caused the pain, sadness, sorrow and grief in your life. I am forever sorry.

I am devastated without you in my life. My heart is broken. I live forever in this mechanical suit to keep me alive. To keep my heart beating. I would die without you. I cover my face in shame, with a black mask.

I would die without you in my life. You are gone and death would be too easy an escape for what I've done to you. I live in shame for the rest of my life covering my face with this black mask of regret, I wear every day for the rest of my life. My heart is broken, I can't breathe without you. I wear this mechanical suit to stay alive. I am half the man I used to be, I am broken, I am nothing without you in my life. I forgot that every time I called you, Sweetheart, My Queen, Princess, My Baby Doll or Love of My Life. You are far far more than that.

I live the rest of my life, with regret, but with the devotion of my love for you to honor the memory and the beauty I saw in you from the day we met. You've grown more beautiful everyday. Saying you're the most beautiful woman in the world, is a great compliment. It's an insult to your beauty..... You most beautiful woman in the entire Star System. Your beauty is seen on the surface of you're flawless body, skin smile, and present. It runs deep to your soul, and through every living cell of your body. It shines from your heart, it closed from your wit, it eminates in your charm. You are everything I've ever dreamt of, with presence of beauty and character that makes the blind open their eyes, and visible in the darkness of night. You glow in perfection and I was a dark force. I promise you on the fate of the Death Star, I will love you forever and respect the love you showed for me. I will honor our children, and family and friends. I'll never say or speak ill of you. I take responsibility for all of my actions, and you are innocent in everything you did. This was my fault. I was lucky enough in my life to have perfection hold my hand, say they love me, and made me a better man. I became the man I said I never would. I took your love for granted. I was a Jedi, when I should have been a friend. You were my best friend. My young padawan, the force is strong in you too. I see greatness in you. I saw too much greatness in myself. Now I've lost you, and I live alone, and broken wearing this mask of shame. I will honor my love for you forever. I will honor my promise. I foresee a day in the future, my friend Yoda will pass along the lessons of my life to another young Jedi. Teaching the Jedi, "Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." That young Jedi heed Yoda's advice. That young Jedi, was one day a young padawan. He also surpasses his master, and myself, becoming the greatest Jedi of all universe. That young Jedi's name was Luke Skywalker, our son

Lisa, I love you with all my heart. I love you more than life itself. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and there's nothing I wouldn't do to apologize to you and your family. You are the most amazing woman in all of the galaxies. You are perfect. I never met anyone like you before. I knew I never meet anyone like you again. I never felt like I was lucky enough for deserving of your love. I was scared you would leave every day. I was was scared of losing you. I was blinded by Fear. I let that Fear destroy me. I let Fear, build into an Anger. And my Anger boil into a Hate. It was over. My Hate led to your Suffering, and all the misery I put you through. You left. It was a good choice. I commend you for living your life, and I'm happy of you for what you are accomplishing. I'm proud of you for everything you've become. I am sorry for everything I ha become. My fear led anger and hate. I was stupid not to see the love you have for me. I hate that I was stupid my stupidity, is now my own Suffering. It's only a fraction I'm sure, of what I put you through. It's unbearable, and you have my respect and pride for the rest of your life for surviving my darkest of forces. I love you forever. May the force be with you. Live long and prosper
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