My online confession. I do not know if I should tell her, or carry this secret to the grave:
I was asked at work to help a friend and co-worker move to another apartment. As it turns out, this guy Tom we work with (who I also suspected had feelings for her) managed to catch wind of this, and he and his brother volunteered and came over that weekend to help her move as well.
She told me this and I was furious. I secretly dreamed of dating her almost every day, and I was a worm to not take action. I looked at that day as being OURS and maybe even asking her out. Even now I realize my hesitance was my deeper regret. I never liked this guy, and never talked to him much. It was probably because I felt like there was competition. I'm sure without her involved, I would've been polite, perhaps even a friend to him.
No one had any idea but I arranged it so the last few boxes of stuff (that had clothes, jewelry, etc) ended up with Tom.. Earlier when everyone was outside I stole a few pieces of what I valued as expensive jewelry and put them into my pocket. I loaded up the rest of her stuff in my car and drove to the new place alone.
Amongst the chaos of setting things up and bringing boxes in, I went to the couch where Tom's jacket was, and put the stolen jewelry into his pocket. After a few hours of organization, setting up the TV, computer, etc, I was able to get a minute alone with her and looked as serious as I could.
"Listen..I came in the room this afternoon to see if Tom needed anything and I saw him going through your stuff. He was putting things in his pocket. "
I'm usually quite honest, and I have an honest look to me. Jealously drives a man to do horrible things. I convinced her he was shifty and she should not have trusted him. I also convinced her to avoid calling him out on it and instead to simply let me bring him outside so she could search his pocket alone and reclaim her possessions.
It was risky.
After this plan was set in motion and executed flawlessly, she gave me a dead serious look as white as chalk when I came back in. I noticed her attitude towards Tom and his brother was much different. I felt horrible but relieved at the same time. We wrapped things up and I offered to stay late to help setup stuff, which she agreed, and Tom / brother left.
We had dinner and discussed things. I said she should avoid putting her trust in too many people and "Good thing I caught that!". How ironic. She was really grateful and sincerely believed me. Looking back now it was pretty incredible almost like something out of a soap opera.
Nothing more came out of that night except a "thank you" and a hug. She told me I was a good friend. A FRIEND. Some friend, I guess.
I wont go on except to say that we have now been dating for over a year and I still cannot bring myself to tell her. I fear our relationship will be completely ruined if I do. I have changed for the better from the person I once was, and try to atone for my actions by being an overly nice guy to her and even to Tom, but I still feel regret in my heart.
What should I do?