Gray, You are undoubtedly one of the finest people I know. I was hurt by how you handled the vote for my return to pastoring, and I felt you intentionally did not want me to get it by how you
went about it and I was telling all this to a psychiatrist on the
phone. It got overheard by a student I did not even know was in
the room who used my contact info to go that getpayback.com
site. I don't know his motive. I had never heard of the site.

But I was wrong to even be voicing those things regarding you,
especially in a public place and I am so hurt that I hurt you and
you are not speaking to me. I don't deserve relationship with you,
after that happened but I never meant to publicize anything
mean about you. I never meant to publicize anything. I was just
expressing my hurt and some anger to someone on the phone.

I apologize. I was wrong to make such a call in a public place even
though it was my lunch and students were not supposed to be in
my room and it was not supposed to be overheard. But I missed
that there was a student who was in the back of the room who
overheard obviously and aired what I said.

I totally messed up. I should never have used the phone in a public
place and I was misquoted on what I did say. And I messed up by
even having such hurt and angry feeling toward you as I was
expressing. I am entitled to my hurt but not to hurt you back with
it.

I would like to publically say you are one of the finest and most
loving persons I have even know, and one of the most Christian.
You deserve to be Bishop and you did not deserve what was said
and aired about you on the Web. I did not intentionally mean to
air anything although my contact inform was included. It was a
mistake and I take responsibility. I thought I was just telling
my feeling I could not get over at the time, but inappropriately in
an in inappropriate public place. I got overheard and misquoted
in an exaggerated manner that hurt you.

I am so sorry I hurt you. You have been the kindest, most loving
person that ever came into my life for two years. Although I did
not understand your actions that seemed contrary to the relationship I felt we had, I never meant to ruin it by my anger
and hurt and hurt you in return. Revenge in not Christian nor
appropriate and you did not deserve it in any way.

Gray, I hurt so much over this, I ask you to forgive me and lets talk
and try to recover some of what was. I don't blame you for not
talking to me, but I did not intend to hurt you. I know I did and I
will never do it again.

This letter is to say to the world what a wonderful Bishop Gray Southern will make in SC or anywhere and what an exemplary Christian person he is and what a wonderful example he has been to me. He did not deserve what was aired about him on get payback.com. It was totally misleading and inaccurate.

And Gray, it hurt me more than you, probably.
People think I actually wrote it and that I think that about you and I don't. WE SAY THING IN HURT WE DON'T MEAN. And what I
did say got exaggerated and misquoted.

I don't understand some things you did and I refused to even
talk to you on our appointment because I felt you were denying
any hurt to me and it would do no good to talk. I was wrong to
have canceled without even trying to talk to you in person when
I had the chance. I did not want to make it worse.

Since then, I have gathered more information that lessens what I feel
you did to me. But in the meantime, my hurt affected you in a way
you in no way deserved and made me look vicious to you.

Any hurt you did to me did not compare with what hurt was done to you on that site, and I no longer care about what I felt you did to me.

I only care about your hurt and making known those things that were said were inaccurate and not characteristic of who you are as a Christian, an administrator, a leader of the church, a trusted advisor, and someone who was loved by me and by all that know you.

It was totally inaccurately and inappropriately put online and I am partly responsible although I never intended it to be publicized.

Can you forgive me? Will you talk to me? Can we rebuild some of
the love and trust we once shared? I don't deserve your care of
me right now, but as a Christian, I am asking for it and I am truly
sorry, and I was wrong.

The conference said they told you not to talk to me, but that is really your choice. You will be Bishop and can make those choices on your own, as you can now as a cabinet member. They are just
protecting you, and you can make you own decisions, I know.

I sincerely hope you heal from this hurt I ultimately caused although not intentionally and I was as shocked as you were at the publication.

Please speak to me and let me tell you how sorry I am and how
wrong it was to be said about you and please allow me into your
heart again. I totally understand your hurt and sense of betrayal
by me. But I did not intend it to happen.

I was hurt and angry but I only wish you the best in life. I forgive
you for anything I held you responsible for and know there were
some misconceptions. You probably did not mean to hurt me. You were just going by what you felt was the expected way to go
about it. I felt like you made choices to hurt me. Forgive me. I was
wrong.

I can't say how much I love you and how wonderful a person I
think you are. Everyone who knows you knows it and loves you and
would never believe you would be vicious or the ways you were
described to be online. I did not mean those things either.

I really love you and am eternally sorry you were hurt. Please
forgive me and extend to me the forgiveness of Christ, and let us restore right relationship?

I know you once told me that after a breech, two people never are the same again. But I don't believe that is the way Jesus meant it to be. He said to forgive 70 tines 7, didn’t He? I have not hurt you
70 times 7, or ever before.

You will never forget what you felt I did to you, but you can choose not to hold me responsible if I am repentant and I am.

And you can restore to me loving relationship and your fellowship and love again, if you will. I was angry, but I restore that to you.
,
I am the one that hurt you and you did not essentially hurt me
intentionally, I don't believe now, but my hurt of you publically was not intentional either.

I ask you as almost Bishop to display to me forgiveness and accept
my apology and extend to me fellowship again. The Bible says to
treat as a gentile one who is not repentant. And the church is treating me like one because it loves you and thinks I meant to
harm you.

I am repentant and I hurt so much for the hurt I caused you. I did not intend it to be aired, and will never do anything that would result in such a hurt to you again, or anyone else either. I have
learned what I did in error in this situation.

To the world: Gray Southern is the most Bishop- like material there
exists and deserves to lead others to be as loving and compassionate
and supportive as he as been to me. He did not deserve any hurt
from me. He is one of the most exceptional persons I have ever known and had been one of the most valuable persons in my life.

Please, Gray, forgive me and extend to me fellowship again.
I am so sorry about what I DID THAT HURT YOU THAT I HAVE
THOUGH OF NOTHIG ELSE SINCE THEN.
I know you can get permission from the church to speak to me,
and I ask you to speak to me and to forgive me and let us build
back some trust.

You may not be my DS next year or ever preside over a vote again that concerns me, but I want to associate with you as a person, and am eternally sorry I damaged you so that you do not want to associate with me.

I was wrong about many details for which I blamed you. I am sorry.

Please allowed me to repent and treat you as you deserve without anger, and with support and positive relating again.

You deserve the best remarks that can be made about you and not
what was said in my name. I did not submit the article on get- payback .com, but it was submitted in my name using my contact
information from my computer by someone who heard me discussing my hurt at you at that time with someone on the
phone not even related to the church, a professional counselor
who was the one to hear my hurt, but it was not meant to be aired.

Sometimes people who care for each other hurt each other and I
admit I hurt you far beyond what I felt you did to hurt me. I was
confused and did not know why you acted as you did that I felt was
hurtful to me but that does not excuse an attempt at revenge.

I did not intend to do that and I am shocked and sorry my transient
feelings ever got aired and in such a vindictive way.

Can you forgive me and restore to me your love and affection?

I have though of you and your hurt every day and almost every hour since this occurrence and have tried to reach out to you.

I am asking you to reach out to me, as you were at one time a friend, confidant, trusted advisor and person I respected and loved and so miss. I know you once cared for me and I ask you to get in
touch with that love for me you have not recently felt.

I need your compassion and your forgiveness. I am deeply hurt and hurting. Won't you reach out back to me and attempt for us to heal
this awful breach in our relationship?

As Christians, we can't allow this to harden our hearts toward one
another. I know I can't force you to forgive me, but Biblically you
need to, if I ask you to, and I am asking you now and am repentent.

And forgiveness does not mean, ok I hear you but I will not speak to
or trust or love you again. It is what Christ exemplified on the
cross. No, you did not deserve this any more than Jesus deserved
the cross. But he forgave and I ask you in His name to do the same
to me and let me show you how much I love you again, and restore
right relationship to me.

I love and miss you and am so sorry we even misunderstood or hurt one anohter and I accept and admit that I hurt you far more than you did me.

But your refusal to forgive me will end my relationship to the church and ultimately destroy me more than you or your career was hurt. I ask for mercy and forgiveness for my sake and for a way to correct this for your sake. You do not need the hurt you have.

I want to resolve this for both of us. Neither of us needs to carry around anger and forgiveness and negative feelings toward
the other one. I forgive you for the little hurt you did to me.
Please forgive me for this big hurt you feel I did to you.

I don't deserver your forgiveness nor your love or anything positive from you, but love and forgiveness are undeserved and
not based on conditional love. And I am asking for your unconditional
love and regard. And for you to express it to me in person by
relating to me and forgiving me.

Please forgive me and reach out to me in my hurt from this occurrence. I am hurt and hurting probably more than you because of my hurting you. I need your grace and forgiveness and restoration of love and support and right relating to you. I need
you to reach out and minister to me in this hurt. I need you to be
the bigger person and the representative of the church and help
to heal me.

Will you forgive me and allow us to restore relationship. You don't have to fully trust me right now, but allow me to earn your trust
again. You don't have to say I was right or forget what I did.
Just release me in grace from having done it and restore to me relationship. And help me overcome the hurting I am feeling. I
need your forgiveness and your pastoral care right now.

To the world: Gray Southern is the best church official I have ever
known and one of the most wonderful people , fully deserving of
being Bishop of the church and fully capable of forgiveness and
reaching out to someone who wronged him. I ask him to do that
to me.
I can't say how sorry I am this ever happened;​ it hurt me far more
than it hurt Gray Southern, for an act that seems like revenge only
harms the soul of the one who does it. I did not intend to do it,,
although I was responsible.
Gray,
Please extend grace to me and forgive me. I am totally repentant
of any hurt to you. I don't deserve anything, but grace and unconditional love are undeserved.

Your admiring advisee who misses you and cares for you and wants
you love and relationship with you healed and restored.
Rev. Linda H. Clark