To Tenant From HELL,
You are a filthy, no good animal who has ruined my lovely downstairs apartment and I demand an apology. I was just trying to make a little extra mortgage money by renting out part of my house, and you have turned it into a sewer. Thank God you are gone.
To NB Crew,
Sold you a bad mix of oregano and crap herb, and hyped it up as the best stuff ever ahaha suckahs!!
We haven't spoke in 4 years, but i'm typing this out here to feel better. Maybe I'll show you it one day. I messed around with your cousin on New Year's Eve when we still dated. I wasn't even that drunk, just disenchanted with who "we" were. I'm a dirtbag.
Hey sorry about that time I put all that kitty litter on your car. I was such a jackass I didn't think it would scratch your paint and all that, was just trying to get you back after you wrapped my car up in plastic wrap and put Vienna sausages under my door handle (that was pretty awesome).
Mike bought Matt
To Anthony R. Spec,
I would want, no DEMAND an apology from you for pushing my cat off the desk when he tried to walk on the keyboard. Mr. Sprinkles has feelings too, and he doesn't take kindly to crap like that believe me.
I want you to apologize to me for shrinking all my clothes in the dryer. I specifically told you permanent press and to take it out when it was slightly damp to be hung. I will not stand for this disappointing mishandling of my wardrobe.
sry for suggesting you should go as fat kirstie alley for Halloween.
Kristina would like to extend
an Olive Branch
To Star Diner,
I feel bad about doing a dine and dash last night. At first it felt really good not paying for the delicious corned beef sandwich with french fries (free food is the best food), but as I drove off laughing I thought about how I didn't leave a tip and how hard the waitstaff must work. What a loser I am!
To Ms. Forghetto,
I found this great new website that I think would be great for us. Apologize to me for making me put up with you! I'm talking about all the cackles, poor jokes, refusing to cook for me, trying to steal all my things, etc. Hurry.
From You Know Who
Thanks for letting me in last night when I'd forgotten my keys. Sorry it was at 3am.
A Fuzzy Teddy Bear
I demand an apology from the savage creature who took a dump on my front lawn. I thought it was from someone walking their dog, but upon not-much-closer inspection revealed it to be human feces. Who would do such a thing?
From Angie R.
To big spark,
sorry I offended you while you were loading the dishwasher, sorry I whistle the same tune over and over again.
From bad cop
i'm sorry for not being all that sorry
I'm sorry for *almost* filling your car up with diesel fuel.. The two pumps were right next to each other and I was having a bad day!
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