...or learn about writing apology letters below!
Saying I'm Sorry
Writing an apology letter can be a meaningful way to say I'm sorry, as it allows you to spend time writing and reflect over how you messed up. While some apologies are better suited in person, having an artifact of your thoughts (in the form of an apology letter) available for someone to read allows them to come back again and again to consider your words. Many times this approach is ideal because there isn't room for another's short term memory to kick in and forget some of what you said, or even worse, confuse the point you were initially trying to make.
Whether it involves a break up, trying to get back with an ex boyfriend or girlfriend, or just trying to repair a relationship (of any type), apologizing is the first step to admitting what went wrong and the desire to seek forgiveness. So how does *this* website fit into all of this, you ask? Let Me Apologize touches on two interesting elements: Saying sorry online, and apologizing publicly. The public angle is not suited for every apology - obviously some things are better in private and are too sensitive for the public to see. But other times having others step in to analyze your mistake, provide feedback, and vote if you should get forgiven or not provides additional points of view into the situation.
Advice for Apologizing
Before jumping right in and saying I'm sorry, the best way to apologize is to first think about what happened before you write anything. Gain understanding not just that you messed up but also how you came to this point. If applicable, ask yourself what events and thought processes got you here. Can you think of a logical reason and what steps you could have taken to prevent this?
Simply apologizing without much context shows that you haven't really thought about it or maybe you don't even care. You just want to escape someone's wrath or avoid feeling bad. If you're having a difficult time determining a reason, and you really aren't being lazy, at least mention this and try to ask what their thoughts are on the situation. You'd be surprised what someone else can say when asked - what advice would they give you? Showing understanding and willingness to not just say "I'm sorry" but also to explore the reasons behind it is a very good step in the right direction.
If you've gotten this far, be careful to avoid making the same mistake. You begin to lose credibility when you mess up and continue over and over down the same wrong path. Your words may start to be taken lightly and it will become increasingly more difficult to repair the relationship.
I feel that there is plenty of inspiration to be found in reading the apologies of others. It's unique in that you get a brief glimpse into what went wrong with someone else (without knowing the person), and sometimes can draw parallels into your own life or wrongdoings. If you're interested, I created a page to randomly show a new apology letter each time (click here to read a random apology, or view our categories on the right).
Sometimes an apology is less serious or needs to be supplemented with something else. Gifts can sometimes fill this gap, although take care not to outshine your apology in a way where you appear materialistic. The last thing you want is someone thinking you can buy their forgiveness. While physical gifts (a real box of chocolates, flowers, etc) are a great choice, LetMeApologize.com offers "virtual gifts" to be included with what you wrote - small free images of sentiment where you can hopefully fortify your letter of apology with a present and avoid appearing materialistic.
What If I Wasn't Forgiven?
It shouldn't be a complete shocker that if you wronged someone, they might not forgive you right away. You might be apologizing too early, or even too late. It's difficult to know what boat you are in, but if you feel that you didn't end up where you wanted to be, try to give it some time. Before writing another apology letter, think about what you said. Was it sincere? Is this person being deliberately difficult? Sometimes people play games to make you grovel and appear weak. Try to detect this and avoid it as much as possible. You might be tempted to make yourself weak to hasten the forgiveness process. We've all seen this many times; you grovel or cry or try anything you can to just get forgiven and move past this as quickly as possible. This usually does work, but at the expense of losing your credibility and hurting your reputation. You don't want that. Is it worth being respected less and being forgiven? On the other hand, being too cold and not putting in too much emotion is bad too, so try to be balanced. Always be strong, sincere, and do not yell or insult someone, even if you are taking insults or going through mind games. Remain steady and show your resolve to correct the situation.
After some time has passed, try communicating again that you really value the relationship or that you regard this person highly, and want to be in good standing with them. Admit you were wrong again, and that you would like to know how to work towards undoing your mistake. Explain that everyone messes up, and you would like another chance. Speak slowly and do not accuse or insult. Look and act truly sincere.
Sometimes it can be really tough to come up with a way to say sorry. You could start by browsing some of the apologies here on the site. We have categories setup to help narrow down the type of apology you're looking to make, and borrow some ideas to incorporate into your own. There are also many resources online to help you get ideas. The Perfect Apology is a site that offers some suggestions for things you can do and also buy, helpful hints on getting forgiven, and they even offer to critique your apology if you're not sure if it's good.
Finally, I really enjoy helping people. You can get in touch with me at
or use the Contact Us page to send me your apology or just ask me questions. I would love to listen to your situation and offer suggestions.