Last summer I met some friends at a bar literally 10 minutes away. As the night ended, I drank about 5 or 6 mixed drinks in a three hour timespan. I was definitely not able to drive legally, but I got into the car and proceeded to drive home because it was close and the thought of leaving my car in some shady bar parking lot wasn't a good idea.

On the way back I was (...read more)

Hey, im really sorry for saying you have MASSIVE cankles and for growing a massive beard and usin the c-word.

Im sorry that you had to wash your body with the shampoo bottle i pissed i just got tired of it when you used up all of my shampoo, so yes i agree the dollar store soap did smell kinda "musky" but you seemed to love it.

I am sorry for being such a drama queen and making loads of people hate me. I am sorry for pushing someone away who means a lot to me.

Last semester, I started off as a very hard-working TA for organic chemistry. As my own life began to unravel, I started doing things I now regret. As it relates to university, I put myself into a position to sell off some of the knowledge I had days before the exams, and even to sell old copies of tests that were not made public on the site.

I became quite popular. I (...read more)

I demand an apology for your horrible call, costing us a draw when we should have legitimately beat Slovenia. I'm not saying you're bad all the time, but in any corner kick, tons of minor infractions are bound to occur, and not a single commentator, player, coach, etc, can understand why you made this poor call. At least explain yourself! England's Goalkeeper faced the music - so should you!

I suppose you'll silently slip back into the FIFA shadows, without an explanation, but I really hope you can at least admit you were wrong.

I sank to my lowest last week. While walking in NYC near my apartment, I came across one of those foreign vendors who sell stuff on the tables. While they were helping a customer, I really liked one of the scarves they had, but did not want to pay. I slid it off the side of the table and then kept walking and then put it in my bag. Oh well.. I feel bad but I guess not bad enough to have returned it or paid for it.

Dear Gina,

As I lay here on the couch with my laptop and paper-thin sheet, spending another cold night in the doghouse, I have come to realize I am sorry for comparing your mother's body to that of Babar the elephant's. I also did not mean it when I said afterwards that his body is much nicer.

I hope we can come to some sort of agreement on her proportion, because it's still cold out here and I'm too cheap to turn the thermostat up higher.

Today I brought my husband lunch from Boston Market and I told him I made everything at home. He said it was the best stuffing I ever made, lol. I guess that's what I get for my trickery!

When you borrowed my car on Saturday to take some people home, you failed to tell me that they left a can of beer sideways on the floor. It's contents were spilling out every time I made a right turn. The car stinks and I really trusted you to keep things under control!

I was walking with 2 girls to the store when I was 15. I always had a hard time fitting in, girls just didn't like me. Some guy about our age came walking in the opposite direction an as he passed us he stopped me and told me that I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. I felt immediately flattered and the instantly embarrassed that he said it to me and not the other two girls. I told (...read more)

Please forgive me for stealing your two handed sword.

I want to apologize to my neighbours the Andersons. The other night I walked home, pretty drunk. By the time I got to my street I was feeling nauseous. Anyhow, I didnt make it to my door, instead I threw up all over your hood and windshield. I noticed you two the next day (from my window), freaking out about it while trying to wash it off. I was hung over and I didn't bother to tell you.
Sorry

Girl, Im sorry I slept with your dad. In my defense, I thought it was your brother. Too much gin, not enough juice

I apologize to my wife for not showering for 3 days. And for insisting it was ok as long as I changed my underwear.